Last Day in El Salvador

Well today is our last full day in El Salvador.  We have to leave pretty early tomorrow morning in order to get to the airport a few hours before our flight leaves.  We´ll be leaving San Salvador at 1230pm.  In a way, it feels like we just got here.  I knew coming into this that 2 weeks would not be near enough time but I feel that I could spend years down here and still not feel that it was enough.  When it comes down to it though, this country needs Jesus, not me.  I am thankful that He has chosen to use me in San Salvador for a short amount of time and I can´t express the love that I have for the people that I have met here.  I will definitely miss them when I leave and saying good-bye tomorrow morning will be very difficult.  However, I know that God is always in control and I also know that His work here continues regardless of where I am. 

Yesterday we did get to go to the beach.  It was a beautiful day and we had quite a restful and enjoyable time.  I think I could sleep in those hammocks all day long, it is SO relaxing!  After the beach we went to the mall to eat dinner at the food court.  It´s been fun being here while the World Cup is going on because everywhere we go there are celebrations and parties in honor of the competition.  They get so into it, I can´t imagine what it would be like if El Salvador was actually in the World Cup!

Atami Beach

This morning Beth picked us up to go to her church.  She had asked if we would say a few words or a short testimony during the service.  We agreed and were supposed to have a translator but God had other things in mind.  We found out at the last minute that there would be no translator for us and we would have to do it on our own.  I am definitely not a huge fan of speaking in front of people, even when it´s in my own language.  Granted, it was a very small church but still it wasn't something that I was excited about doing.  Speaking in a church service, in front of a group of people I've never met, in a different country and a different language is out of my comfort zone for sure.  But we all got up there and spoke in Spanish and as far as I could tell, it was understood.  Just another example of God coming through in spite of my weakness and apprehension. (2 Cor. 12:9)

Last night before I went to sleep, I was thinking about the girls in this house and the things that they have been through.  I was overcome with anger towards the men that have wronged them, abused them and stolen their innocence.  I've actually never felt that angry in my entire life towards anyone, and these are people that I've never met before.  I've never even seen their faces.  Through their sin, they have forever impacted the lives of these girls and their children.  No matter how many years pass, they will never forget what was done to them and their children will always know that they were the result of a horrible act.  If I don´t constantly remind myself that God has a plan for these lives, I will lose my mind in anger and bitterness.  I have to trust the words of Romans 9 and know that the Potter has molded each and every individual life. 

People often ask if I ¨feel¨a specific calling to El Salvador.  The answer is no.  While I love this place and the people I have met here, I do not feel that God has called me to this country in particular.  Rather, I am convinced that the Lord calls each of us to a life of following Him wherever He leads.  If He allows me the chance to come back to El Salvador in the future I will go, whether it is for a week, a year or forever.  I want to be where God wants me and therefore I´ll serve Him in a different country or in my hometown.  If I packed up and moved to El Salvador on my own initiative and tried to serve the people here in my own strength I wouldn't last more than a day and I would feel no peace or satisfaction.  A verse that has been challenging me over the past few weeks in I John 3 verse 17 - ¨If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?¨  This applies to me no matter where I am.  There are people in need all around me and I am called to love them. 

Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts as we say good-bye tomorrow.  It´s gonna be a long day of traveling but we´re hoping that everything goes smoothly.  We´ll all be ready to get home and see our families. 
I plan on spending the rest of the week sleeping and going to Starbucks (of course)!!

Last Week Day

We finished up our last day at CISNA and CIPI today.  It was a little hard to say good-bye to some of the girls that we've gotten to know over the past 2 weeks.  After we got back to the Promise House, we all showered and changed and headed out for dinner.  We went to La Gran Via, which is an outdoor mall in El Salvador. (Definitely a ¨rich Salvadorian¨ hang-out place).  We had a really fun time eating dinner, walking around and then getting ice cream.  They were having a little celebration for the World Cup and had people dressed up for each country represented in the competition.  There was dancing and lots of music, it was cool to be a part of it.  Then it started to pour rain while we were waiting for our ride.  When Hermano Jorge pulled up we couldn´t really tell if it was him or not so we just stood in the rain staring at him.  Somehow we convinced ourselves it wasn´t him and even when he started honking at us, we continued to walk away.  At that point, we were pretty much soaking wet and Jorge had to get out of the van to wave us down.  We laughed really hard about it and I can only imagine how ridiculous we looked standing in the rain discussing and debating whether that was the right van or not. 

Tomorrow will be spent at the beach!  Can´t wait!! It´s hard to believe that we´ll be home on Monday.  Part of me feels like we just left and part of me feels like we have been gone forever.  Either way, it will be sad to leave but I am looking forward to being home and catching up on some rest. 

Well, that´s all I have for now.  Sorry it´s short but I am ready to fall asleep!

Thursday

Today went by so fast.  It seems like we just woke up and now it is already almost time for dinner.  When Hermano Jorge came to pick us up from CISNA at 11:45am, he told us that we were going to lunch with all of the female OH staff.  They took us to Pizza Hut and it was nice to spend some time talking to them and hearing some of the stories that they have.  We went to CIPI for the afternoon and tried to play some games but ended up just sitting around with the girls and talking with them.  Hermano Oscar picked us up at 3:30pm and we went to pick the babies up from day care before returning to the Promise House where I enjoyed a much needed nap.

Tomorrow is our last day at CISNA and CIPI.  It will be sad to say good-bye to the girls but I have to admit that I am looking forward to the weekend.  We are hoping that our plans for the beach will not fall through for Saturday.  It hasn't been raining as much but we had an awful storm last night.  I don´t think I've ever heard a worse rain storm actually!  Sunday we are going to Beth's (an American missionary living in ES) church and will be speaking in part of the service.  Sunday night we´re planning on making pupusas at the house with both the Promise and Hope House girls.  Well, they will make them and I´ll eat them haha.

God has certainly been revealing Himself to me in new ways and teaching me many new truths from His Word since I've been here.  It continues to amaze me that no matter how much time I spend in reading the Bible or praying, I will never fully comprehend or understand God.  He is just so big and powerful that it leads me to praise.  One thing I have really enjoyed while being here is listening and singing Spanish praise and worship songs.  I love praise and worship music but I feel that sometimes I allow myself to become numb to the words that I am singing.  Singing them in a new language has made me focus more on the words and realize, once again, how great our God really is.

The girls are about to head off to church but we´re going to stay behind and rest.  It will be strange to have a quiet house but it will be a nice, short break.  Looking forward to seeing many of you in just a few days!

Wednesday Update

Sorry it has been a few days...we've been staying busy and it´s hard to find time to get on the computer, especially since there is just one in the house for 11 people to share!  I´ll try to keep it brief but let you all know what we have been up to!

Monday was a very long day, definitely the longest one we've had.  It didn't help that I was struggling with a horrible sore throat (I'm convinced that having a sore throat is the most annoying thing ever).  On the way home we stopped at a pharmacy and got some amoxicillian though and so today I am feeling much better!  Johanna and Danielle each had a touch of sickness as well.  Jo actually decided to stay home from the centers yesterday to rest it off.  We´re all feeling much better today (praise God) but please continue to pray for our health.  I think the main problem is that we are just lacking a lot of sleep.  Every time I get frustrated with being sick or tired (or a combination of the two) I am reminded that He is strong in spite of my many weaknesses.  It is so comforting and reassuring to know that the Holy and Powerful Spirit dwells within me.

We've been spending the mornings at CISNA and the afternoons at CIPI, just like last week.  It has been interesting and a little surprising to notice how much happier the girls in the prison seem.  At first, I couldn't understand it but after thinking about it and talking to Jo and Dan about it, I think I have now have a better understanding.  The girls in the prison know that they deserve (to some degree) their current living situation.  Most of these girls have families and they have the hope that they will soon return to them once they meet before the judge.  The girls at the orphanage have little to no hope of ever leaving and the only family they´ve known has shown them abuse, neglect and abandonment.  For these girls, there is no ¨light at the end of the tunnel¨  I am praying that they will come to find their complete fulfillment and satisfaction in Christ.  I can´t imagine how difficult it must be for them to accept, believe and claim the truth of God´s love and sacrifice as their own.  Please pray for these girls.  I know that God can and will break down the walls they have built up.  He longs to fill them with the joy and peace that only He can bring.

Last night we were invited to dinner at the Hope House.  It was so much fun to spend some time with those girls and get to know them.  They were very excited about the meal they had prepared for us too...spaghetti, salad and bread.  Quite the American meal and a nice break from the beans and tortillas.  Plus, it was enjoyable to eat in an environment that was a little quieter and less messy haha.

I have a lot more I want to say but I was just called for dinner and don´t want to be rude (the fact that I am starving has nothing to do with it of course haha)  I´ll write another update soon (hopefully).  Can´t make any promises though...I´m still learning that Latin American culture follows absolutely NO schedule. Oh well haha it´s a good lesson in patience and who can´t use some more of that

Guilt Free

I´ll take a break from the usual blog update to talk a little bit about what God has been teaching me since I have been here in El Salvador...

About a year or so ago, I had a conversation with someone in which they told me that I could never ¨fully understand or know them because my life was too perfect.¨ Although they probably didn't give it a second thought, the impact of their words was both lasting and hurtful.  Regardless of the fact that they knew very little about me, I remembered their words and allowed myself to dwell on them.  I could make a list of all the ways that my life is not perfect but that would serve no purpose and to be quite honest, I'd have to agree that I have been blessed with a wonderful life and in comparison to many, it could be seen as ¨perfect.¨ When I came to that realization, I began to resent those things.  When I returned from El Salvador last year I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for everything I have been blessed with.  In part, it was a good thing to realize that there are so many who have so little while I have so much, but rather than responding in thankfulness and praise to God, I was drowning in guilt and feelings of uselessness.  I began to believe that I couldn't understand those around me who were suffering because I have suffered very little in my own life.  If I can´t understand them, how can I help them?  I have a heart to help those who are broken and hurting and I have the spiritual gifts of mercy and hospitality but I just couldn't figure it out.  I felt like a useless part of the body of Christ.  If I couldn't understand that one person, who I considered a friend, how could I effectively use the gift of mercy?  Either they would be reluctant to accept help from someone who couldn't empathize with their situation or they wouldn't want my help at all.  At least that is what I told myself, but I was boxing God in, yet again and relying on my own strength.  It got me absolutely no where.  I have struggled with this for a while and it has really weighed heavy on me and impacted my relationship with God.  Through His Word, God spoke to me the other morning as I read.  It was quiet and I took the time to listen to what the Lord wanted to say to me.  I know that I don't take enough time in my busy schedule to pause and listen.  I read in Romans 9, which has become a favorite passage of mine.  Verse 20 says, ¨But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "  I have probably read and quoted this verse a million times over the past year but I always related it to the lives of others rather than my own.  When I thought of all the orphans around the world, all those who are suffering, those who have witnessed horrible things, those who have committed awful crimes and others who seem to be living in ´unfair´ circumstances, I would look to this verse and be comforted in knowing that every life was created by God and that I have no right to question why certain people are placed in specific situations.  The Lord showed me as I read the other day that I need to apply this to my own life as well.  Who am I to question the person that God has made me and the life that He has given to me?  My response to His blessings should be to praise Him, in any circumstance.  Whether I am rich or poor, healthy or sick, suffering or rejoicing, my God doesn't change and my response to Him shouldn't change either.  I was convicted as I thought about how I failed to thank and praise God for all He has given to me.  I am so thankful that the Lord is teaching me this because as I return home next week I will be able to have a better perspective.  Rather than feeling guilty and resenting the blessings that I am surrounded with, I will praise God for them and will be all the more thankful for it all!

Friday Night Update

It's been a little difficult to update because of the location of the computer.  It is downstairs and every time we get on the little kids start climbing all over us begging for us to play Justin Beiber.  Who knew his popularity would spread all the way to El Salvador haha.  If I hear ´baby, baby, baby, ohhhh´ one more time I might just lose my mind.  It´s great though, I really love these kids.  The other night we were all in our rooms about to get some sleep and we had left our door cracked a little to get some light while we read and wrote in our journals (the light in our room has been burnt out so we can´t see once the sun goes down) and Glenda, Miguel and Alondra would run in our room, give each of us kisses, run out and then come back in and do it again.  They must have done it at least 10 times.  It was the cutest thing and is one of the many reasons why I miss this place so much when I leave.

We've been going to CISNA in the mornings to spend time with the girls in the prison.  It has been a lot of fun working with them and learning from them.  We work with them during their art class and have been doing a short devotion and then an activity or craft of some kind.  On Wednesday and Thursday we went to CIPI to work with Idalia and some of the girls in the orphanage there.  Idalia leads a Bible study and then we do an activity with them.  Yesterday they taught us how to make cards by folding and rolling pieces of paper.  Today we didn't go to CIPI though because Jessica (one of the girls in the Promise House) invited us to a fiesta at her school.  She was on the court for La Reina de Las Flores (Queen of the Flowers).  We got there at about 1:30pm and they didn't announce the winner until 5:30 so it was a long day but it was fun to see their school and be there to support her and take pictures of her.  She ended up getting 2nd place but she looked beautiful and was very excited that we came. 

Last night I asked Hermano Jorge if he would take us to a pupuseria for dinner.  Danielle and Jo had never had them before and I really really wanted some!  He picked us up at about 5:30pm and we drove for about 30 min to a restaurant on top of a mountain.  It was a great view and the pupusas were great.  (And thanks to lactaid, I could enjoy them without getting sick haha).  We were also able to spend some time with Hermano Jorge.  He is honestly one of the best people I have ever met.  He loves the Lord and his family so much and is willing to sacrifice so much of himself to serve those around him.  He is also a great ´father figure´to the girls in the PH and it is so great to see him interacting with them.  I feel like he is my ¨El Salvadorian dad¨ He looks after us while we´re here which I know is a comfort to me and my parents!  After dinner, Jorge took us to an overlook of the city of San Salvador.  It was so beautiful and literally took my breath away.  It was dark so the whole city was lit up.  I took some pictures but they didn't do it justice...I´ll just have to keep the vision in my mind forever. 

We just finished dinner.  While the girls were getting dinner ready for us, we walked to the tienda down the street with Hermana Marina to get some drinks.  Since we've been here she has gone out of her way to make sure we're comfortable and happy.  I was able to have a good conversation with her on the way to the store and I´m so thankful for her and her kind and loving spirit as well as her love for missions.  I love meeting the people down here and I can honestly say that they are just as much of a blessing to me; even more so, than I could ever be to them. 

It has been raining a lot here still (because of the Tropical Storm).  It makes it A LOT cooler so I am not complaining.  It is supposed to rain tomorrow though so we are changing our plans a little...instead of going to the beach we´ll be going to the market and hopefully by next Saturday the weather will be nice enough for us to go to the beach. 

To finish this post, I just want to share a little about what God has been teaching me and showing me while I've been here the past few days.  I have been reading through I Kings and I John as well as the daily Psalm a day that I like to read.  I read Psalm 1 on the day that we got here and was reminded how important it is to meditate on the Lord both day and night.  I Kings is such an interesting story to read and I just read of Solomon´s request for wisdom from the Lord and I wondered what I would have asked for if I were in his position.  I John emphasizes the importance of LOVE and it has been both encouraging and challenging.  Since it is such a short book, I have read through it a few times over the past couple of days.  If I truly want to live a life that is pleasing to Christ, I MUST show love to those around me, even those who are difficult to love.  I have been challenged in that way because it is easy to become frustrated and annoyed especially when my selfish desires get in the way.  However, if I say that I am a Christian I need to mirror Christ in all of my actions and thoughts. 

Sorry for the length of this post but I don´t know when I´ll find some time to blog again without being interrupted.  For those of you praying...please pray for the health of the girls in the house, we have had a recent outbreak of chicken pox.  Baby Nicole has them pretty bad and I just feel so bad looking at her covered face as she screams out of discomfort.  All three of us ´gringas´ have already had chicken pox; it´s rare to get them twice, right?  Let´s hope so!!

We Made It!

It has been an extremely long day but we safely arrived in El Salvador and have been staying busy since the moment we got here!  There is a 2 hour time difference so we got in around 11:30 am El Salvador time.  Since we've been up since 2:45am it has been a long and exhausting day, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Seeing all the familiar faces has filled me with so much joy I won't even try to express it in words.  We even got to stop by Pollo Campero for lunch!  For dinner we had beans (of course) and platanos and tortillas.  I do have to say that the living conditions in the Promise House have improved!  The room we´re staying in this year is twice the size as the one last year and I have yet to see a single cuca!  I feel a little spoiled haha.  Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that we made it and that I am SO happy to be back in this house with these girls and children that I love so much.  Quick cool story...one of the girls living in the Promise House right now is a girl that I met in the detention center last year.  She was pregnant last summer while in prison and now both her and her baby live in the PH.  That made my whole day and will definitely be one of the best things of this trip, I´m sure!
Well, I am exhausted...Tomorrow we head off to CISNA at about 8am.  I´ll try to update again soon!